It’s a long time ’till October, and thankfully for us, there are still plenty of scare attractions that put on non-Halloween events. One of the most popular dates for a number of attractions putting on an event is always Valentine’s. Perfect for a road trip for Ashley and Steven, we were also joined by Amber from Parks, Scares and Glitter for the weekend.

First up was Scream Factory’s My Bloody Valentine event on Valentine’s Day itself. A perfect idea for a date night in our opinion. On arrival at Redcar we met up with Lee and Sarah from Faceless Ventures so we had a good five-strong group for our run through. After a brief walk in the woods, you get to the impressive castle entrance and once inside you have a bar, a couple of food options, some photo ops with some props and if you’re unlucky, interaction with the impressive street team, this time comprising of a pair of creepy doll characters and a brilliant if somewhat deranged clown looking for love this Valentine’s.

Scream Factory is a multi-part walkthrough event with various different themes along the route that takes at least 30 minutes and from our hazy memory a fair few more. Understandably the route is unchanged from Halloween, but it became very clear right from the start that this would be a very different experience from last October.

Warning, while we try to avoid too much detail a few sections below may contain spoilers.

The Butcher’s Shop scene in the opening Abattoir section featured two brilliant and hilarious actors, one of many highlights, the two of them worked so well together, and with us the ‘customers’. They weren’t afraid to get in your face and dangle their various wares in front of you. We now know the staggering difference between an Irish sausage and a Teesside chipolata. The humour in this scene set the tone for the rest of the event. It was clear it was going to be a bawdy, funny, smutty and risqué night.

That’s not to say that there weren’t scares, there were still plenty of them, as well as some very dark sections, and one incredibly foggy room where you could barely see your own hand in front of your face. For the scares, all the actors were on top form, but the ‘Meat the Butchers’ scene was particularly memorable. It’s so intimidating when you first enter the area and what quickly followed was absolute carnage. One of our group had a bunch of the Butcher’s circling them singing ‘Ring a Ring o’ Roses’ and Steven was held back from the rest of the group for some up-close interaction.

Because Scream Factory is one long walkthrough, it’s always almost impossible to remember all the individual elements or even the order they come in. There were some hilarious and cheeky scenes with a number of actors in drag, a great twisted and smutty Blind Date scene, and so many balloons in the Pennywise scare sections. We even managed to scare ourselves when accidentally popping balloons.

The final section is a hooded maze, and it’s probably the most fun we’ve had with a hood on. Whilst you’re meant to hold on to a rope to navigate the maze, this time the actors were taking no prisoners and occasionally you lost the rope only to find either a large dildo put into your hand, being led by a wet willy, or caressing a particularly slippery and moist knob. All the while the actors are whispering smutty sweet nothings in your ear with some normal light touching and prodding. We were in stitches but will be glad not to hear the word moist again for a while. Moist.

You end up back in the bar and food court, so we had a drink and a chat and whilst there had a few more interactions with the street team. The Clown, in particular, seemed to have taken a shining to Steven and after he’d given everyone in our group a sweet, ended up piling the sweets into Steven’s hands and arms. Almost a lifetime’s supply of Maoam. The Clown wasn’t finished though and after terrorising a bunch of the other people at the event came back for a slow dance with Steven. It was nice to see some true romance in the spirit of Valentines Day.

We had a fantastic time at Scream Factory and their My Bloody Valentine event was a great mix of traditional scares, with some genuinely hilarious, bawdy and smutty humour throughout. Sadly, My Bloody Valentine runs for one night only, but we’ll be back for Halloween and again Valentine’s next year. A big thank you to Scream Factory for letting us visit, to the brilliant actors and all those behind the scenes for putting on another superb event, we can’t wait to return.

Author: Steven